Lao and Zhuang, Too, Had Their Flaws

NMH

03-08-2025

Knowing the way to commune with the immortals, Kingfisher brought along a pouch of fine fish for the sages to savor. Naturally, it was of the highest quality—crispy, airy, sweet, dissolving into nothingness as soon as it touched the tongue. Yet Kingfisher also had his own agenda: to test the powers of the sages! (It may sound a little disrespectful, but it carries empirical value.) Step one: record data from the sages. Step two: compare it with a mortal case in Bird Village.

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The first day, the fish is exquisite. The sages are delighted, discoursing on lofty insights. Kingfisher lingers, asking questions, waiting for about two hours to pass, until the sages finally confirm: no unusual events happened. Only then does he return to the mortal world.

The next day, more fish. Again, joy, profound conversation, and two hours without incident. Again, Kingfisher departs.

The third day, once more, fine fish. The sages are even more jubilant, their insights bordering on transcendence. After patiently waiting two hours for confirmation of “no unusual events,” Kingfisher flies home, pondering in his cave with the collected data: no unusual events happened.

Is this data about food safety? No. Or is it about assessing the supply capacity for the celestial realm? Also no. It is meant to answer a question, one that arises within the following context.

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Some time ago, Kingfisher’s close friend, Pheasant, had its very first brood of chicks—adorable little ones. Kingfisher brought along some nice fish as a gift. Unlike his usual warmth, Pheasant responded briefly, merely thanked him, and told him to come back in two hours. When asked if something urgent had come up, Pheasant replied: “Busy eating.”

Make sense. Two hours later, Kingfisher returned. He saw an entire tree near Pheasant’s nest covered in white baby cloths hung out to dry—a cheerful sight!

Kingfisher called out, and Pheasant came to meet him. Kingfisher once again offered a pouch of top-quality fish. After a hasty thank-you and a few tired, curt words, Pheasant said that if Kingfisher wished for a heartfelt conversation, he should come back in another two hours. When asked if something urgent had come up, Pheasant replied: “Busy eating.”

Strange, Kingfisher thought, but he dismissed it as the ‘first-brood syndrome.’ So, two hours later, he returned again—this time with a huge bag of fish, even larger than the two previous ones combined.

This time, the baby cloths were strung up across the entire orchard around the nest, dazzlingly white!

Before Kingfisher could even finish calling out, Pheasant rushed out, snatched the bag of fish, carried it into the nest, and only then came back to greet him. After that, their conversation was like Laozi and Confucius trying to sing a duet—completely out of tune!

Perplexed, Kingfisher asked what was going on, and the reply was: “Busy eating.”

The same old answer! But his fellow usually eats just once and is satisfied. Why then, in less than half a day, has he eaten three times and is still too busy eating? Not to mention, he had just grabbed that huge bag of fish as if he hadn’t eaten in days.

So Kingfisher decided to leave it for another time. But before departing, he pressed Pheasant for a straight answer—was there any reason besides eating? Pheasant seemed a little embarrassed, yet still replied: “Busy eating.” Then he shifted his gaze, guiding Kingfisher’s eyes to the mountain of white cloth, and added: “A cosmic mystery.”

To seek mysteries, of course, Laozi and Zhuangzi are the right masters. Taking the data back and reflecting on it, Kingfisher comes to a very scientific conclusion about what Pheasant’s “cosmic mystery” actually meant.

From the evidence, Kingfisher infers that “busy eating” that day really meant busy producing. Pheasant had been assigned the task of washing a massive pile of baby cloths. The top-quality fish he was given turned into soap when digested. To clean such a mountain of cloth, a lot of soap was needed—hence, even after three deliveries of fish, there was no refusal.

At this point, Kingfisher is quite certain: compared to Pheasant, Laozi and Zhuangzi fall short in at least one domain… soap! In this regard, even the celestial realm may have something to learn from Bird Village.

References

[1] Cần, T. G. N. D. (1992). Lão Tử Tinh Hoa. NXB Trẻ.

[2] Cần, T. G. N. D. (1992). Trang Tử Nam Hoa Kinh. NXB Trẻ.

[3] Vuong, Q. H. (2025). Wild Wise Weird. https://books.google.com/books?&id=rq82EQAAQBAJ